I’ve mentioned before that I’m reticent to talk too much about Big Mama, our son’s mother, because I don’t want to share what isn’t mine to share. Without giving a word for word account of a text conversation I do want to share this and I think it can be done without violating Big Mama’s privacy give a little insight on an open adoption.
A few weeks ago we got a text that Big Mama was coming to town. Just that, coming to town, no request, just a statement of fact. We didn’t have a scheduled visit planned, she has friends and connections here and used to live here so it isn’t unusual that she might visit and texting each other isn’t uncommon either.
When I saw that first statement, I stopped for a few seconds. What should I do? Then, it was straight forward, she was family, she would be in town, we had a morning open, and we wanted to spend time with her. “Wanna come over if you have time?”
We arranged a meeting and it was good, but the messages leading up to that meeting were funny in that awkward ‘we’re just figuring this out’ way. ‘Let’s meet, but only if you want to.’ Each trying to make sure they weren’t putting pressure on the other. Then Big Mama called it as she saw it, “This Open Adoption is some kind of funny.” The awkwardness evaporated. Yep, it is. Some kind of funny, some kind of hard, some kind of weird, some kind of joy and some kind of family. Our family.